Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The FAT Truth

I'm skinny! Yep! I've been dieting for...ummm...seems like years. Ummmm...errrr...I guess it actually has been years! But, I'm here today to announce to you all that I am skinny.


What's that you're saying?

I have a BMI that puts me in the grossly obese category?

Oh, well, ummm, the issue here is that these BMI calculators don't take into account some very important criteria (like my perception). We should never place our trust in objective measures that don't account for the ever important personal feeling index.

It's obvious to see that your data is incorrect and I am indeed skinny!

What's that?

I still wear a size 18 and have to shop in the plus sizes?

Yeah, but 18 is the new 8, havent' you heard? I'm telling you...I'M SKINNY DAMMIT!

Huh? What's that you say? No, you're wrong, I'm not fat!

I'm skinny.
I'm skinny.
I'm skinny.
I'm skinny.
I'm skinny.
I'm skinny.
I'm skinny!!!

ARGH! How is that possible? You still don't believe me!!!

Wait - I don't understand?!?!

It works for Sarah Palin and John McCain!

They tell lie after lie after lie. They repeat their lies over and over, dress their lies up in pretty clothing and put pretty pink lipstick on them, and turn their little pit bulls lies into pretty Alaskan-beauty-queen-govenor lies. Sooner or later the people they are speaking to just figure it's the truth. That's how stupid they think the American people are, and sadly sometimes are :(

Don't believe me? Read this

(if that link doesn't work - pretty much the same info is here. I noticed today the CBS link is gone, but I hope it comes back so I'm leaving it there)

So, Citizens of the blogosphere, I stand (actually sitting because I'm too fat to stand for long) here before you to tell you I AM SKINNY!


Iguana Banana said...

I actually heard on MPR this morning that the ratings were actually equaling out because tons of women were jumping on the McCain-Palin band wagon... wait for it... because McCain's running mate is... wait... a GAL!
WTF is this world coming to?! Women, wake up and smell the damn testosterone. He is using you to get a vote. He is putting a pretty woman next to him - again - to get attention.
I wonder when he'll let her speak.

Nonna said...

Ha Ha! Let her speak? Fat chance! All she knows how to say is "And I told congress thanks, but no thanks!"

I'm so sick and tired of hearing the same lines over and over...you'd think a week after he picked her, they'd have some fresh new lies for us to vet!!!

WTF is right! ARGH!!!!

Jon said...

I hope the women of America are not fooled into thinking that she will represent their interests. Sarah Palin will set women back two generations.

Interesting that her daughter had the opportunity to make the same CHOICE that she wants to preven others from having the opportunity to make.