Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I am a verb

We are taught that human beings are nouns. A person/place/thing. A living object. But a thing; not an action. As the days of my life transpire, and expire, I see in retrospect that we are verbs, not nouns at all. Life is a process of learning, changing, growing, acting. With all those "ing" words, how can we be a noun?

At no other time in my life have I understood this as deeply as I do today. I've had the great priviledge this week to play "mommie" to my beloved grandson whilst Kelsey is on a tour with her college choir. There's something so profound about young children. They have an ability far beyond their years to shape one's perspective on life. Looking at this face, you can't help but see only the good in humans, only the pure and innocent.

I have been so blessed by his presence in my life. He is a gift in every sense of the word. On October 26th, 2005, my then 16 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. What ensued was life changing indeed. Such a major life decision lay ahead and all I could do was guide her and provide support. As she pondered her options, termination/adoption/keep the baby, I pondered what life might be like under each cirmcustance. I made it clear that it had to be her choice. I have always supported abortion rights because I don't believe it's a government's place to be. But inside I was tormented that she may choose to terminate the pregnancy. However, I would support her through whatever choice she made. She choose abortion. She called Planned Parenthood in St. Paul, made an appointment, got the paperwork filled out. Through it all, I tried to be supportive and help her through it.

The day before we were going to take the drive to St. Paul she came to me and said she didn't think she could go through with it. We sat down and talked out her other options. She wanted to keep the baby. To this day, I wonder if she thought it might give her an "in" back with her ex-boyfriend? I don't know, but somewhere along her way to motherhood, my baby grew up. She stood at that fork in the road and made the right decision, and continues to make the right decisions. Kelsey is now enrolled in college, Kaden lives on campus with her in single parent dorms. She's become an amazing mother to Kaden, dare I say a better mother than I was as a new mom.

On May 9th, Kaden will turn 2. Tempus fugit. As I reflect on the last two years, I see this bright glow that he has brought to my life. Spiritually speaking, I believe that before we incarnate here in life, we create a plan for our lives with major life choices to help us learn lessons for spiritual growth. There's no doubt in my mind that this was one of those learning moments from which I have grown so much. And there's no doubt in my mind that Kelsey and I made the right decision. Her, for deciding to keep the baby. Me, for deciding to support her through it. And somewhere deep in my soul I feel a connection to him. I feel as though I've been waiting for him to come and be here with me. I feel as if this were meant to be and that I'm reunited with an old friend. Here's a couple of videos for you to enjoy.

So, although my body is old and broken, being a verb is the only way to enjoy my life with him and all of my precious family. Go be a verb with yours and lavish in every minute of it.


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Anonymous said...

I Seem to Be a Verb: Environment and Man's Future
By: R. Buckminster Fuller


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