Open Source as a Work/Life Strategy?

Ok, I know I don't blog much about work related issues, but this one has been sitting in my juices fermenting and I think I just need to write a bit about it to gain some clarity for myself, and I know I have some tech-heads out there that read my blog who may have interesting input.

Input. I guess that's at the crux of it. Collaboration. Sharing. Growth. Mission. Open Source.

Open source, for my non-techie friends, is I guess a little like recipe sharing. If I develop a recipe for a fabulous chocolate cake with a secret ingredient of tomato sauce, I could do one of two things. I could share it with you, or keep it "secret" and proprietary only for my kitchen and those upon whom I chose to bestow the pleasure of eating it (or am paid for it). People would enjoy my cake when they had the opportunity, but they'd never understand the amazing truth that tomato sauce makes for an amazingly rich chocolate experience.

If, however, I decided to share that recipe with you, you may fiddle with it in your own kitchen and develop an absolutely dreamy orange flavored butter frosting made with blood oranges. The combination of your creation and mine is better together than they are individually. A new product has emerged and we all benefit from the best, most amazing chocolate cake around.

Open source software took some time for people to understand. We have been so ingrained in our proprietary ways and worrying about who gets credit, that we overlooked the truly awesome power of collaboration. Products built with open source are frequently quicker to market, cheaper, and contain brilliance that one person or entity alone could not conceive.

Parlay this concept into non-software areas of life and work and I think you will see why I've been fermenting. I work at a very conservative, risk-averse, institution that is ultra concerned with it's brand and image, and with good reason; we are one of the top medical centers in the world. So, yes, it's something that we should protect. But there's a lesson here that could be learned from the philosophy that underlies open source technologies. Providing something for free, and thereby taking a little more risk, can be incredibly fruitful. But how to do that while still protecting the brand - or better enhancing the brand - that is the challenge.

Our mission is all about the patient. The needs of the patient come first. If we truly believe that (which I believe we do), then taking a more open approach to our way of working to meet that mission should be inherent. It shouldn't take 10 committees and months and months to establish a new concept or idea. We're protective, yes, but to a fault. We're over-protective.

Now, go one step further. How can you employ this same strategy in life? I guess I need to think deeper on this one - maybe another blog posting will result. I have some pretty set philosophies on life - perhaps it's time to upset the apple cart and challenge myself to look at how I can change my life, and that of others, by exploring this concept. After-all, that's why we're here on this ball of dirt...to learn, to grow, to share, and to love.

The Meaning of Trolls...

Today is my brother's 50th birthday. I am not allowed to celebrate with him, instead today I mourn the loss of this relationship. Everyone has their life stories and life challenges, this challenge in my life story has very much shaped who I am today.

All I ever wanted as a kid, and even as an adult was his love and acceptance. So much of what I did as a younger person revolved around this desire. But the reality of our relationship never turned out to be what I wanted it to be.

I recently reunited with a childhood friend of mine. In preparing for the party, she told her mother that I and my parents would be coming, but not my brother because of a fractured relationship about which she didn't know the details. She told me that her mother's immediate response was how she understood because she thought he was "mean" to me when we were children. Wow, did that hit me like a ton of bricks!

You see, I've never really had any outside validation of the pain I felt due to his behavior, especially not from my parents. They wouldn't acknowledge it, even though I know they saw it. But they were in an impossible position, and I don't fault them for their decisions. When my friend shared this revelation with me, however, I began to cry. In a way, it was like receiving the affirmation I have always desired from my parents.

Now, lest you think I am heaping all the blame on my brother, stop there because I am not. As children, we were both forced into situations that neither of us were equipped to deal with. The love that naturally grows between siblings never had a chance in hell of survival. But once we were adults I thought there was hope. But I made mistakes, and he made mistakes. I tried on several occasions to make amends for my part, hoping he would acknowledge his mistakes as well, but that never came to pass. I was appalled at the way he would twist things, and how mean and hurtful a person he was even as an adult - but truth be told, I hold his wife responsible for much of that behavior.

I fear he is not the type of person who reflects on their actions or does any soul searching, and I am fairly confident that he would be most uncomfortable with admitting any of his mistakes. Based on his past behavior I can also say with confidence that he would never listen to me respectfully or make any attempt to work out our relationship. I sincerely hope that changes some day because I still love him with all my soul.

So, that is the very short version of why I have no relationship with him. But, on today, his 50th birthday, I feel I need to recognize it because this challenge in my life has deeply shaped the way I view my personal relationships. This struggle helped me to learn the value of "family" - or those we choose to care about as family. This struggle has helped me learn to treat all my close relationships with the utmost care and respect. This struggle taught me that when my life is over, all that will matter are those relationships, not how much wealth or junk I have accumulated.

So, why the troll? My brother had a troll collection as a kid that I envied (and that I'm sure I disrespected by playing with without permission). A few years ago we were in a phase where we were still talking, but it was tenuous. On December 10th that year, I was stranded in Copenhagen on my way to Barcelona. I went to the Tivoli market and they had all these wonderful trolls. I bought this little one to give to my brother for his birthday when I got back. However, when I got back the nastiest and most heart-breaking set of events occurred that destroyed any possibility of a relationship - again his wife was at the center of it!

I have not spoken to him since that time. I kept the troll as a reminder of the fragility of our personal relationships, and as a reminder that every relationship is two sided and both parties must be vested in the desire to have a relationship. But it is also a reminder to me that you must have love as the base. I fear I have never truly had his love or acceptance. I have always loved him, and I'm sure that's why I lament this passing of such a monumental birthday and the fact that I can't be a part of it. I also know that if I were called upon to donate a kidney to him, I would be there without question. That's unconditional love, and if he were willing I would be happy to try and work out our differences.

Instead, this little troll reminds me of all the people that I have in my life that do love and accept me, and it reminds me to treat those relationships with the utmost care and love that a person could. I am so fortunate to have so many friends, some of whom have helped to fill this void in my life. Mike and Steve, Tim and Russ, Jon, Jodi, Ahna, Jackie, Bill, mom & dad, my girls, my husband. You all give so much of yourself to me, and I only hope I return it in kind. Thank you for being my family!

May the power of the troll be with you!

I'm in Shock and Awe

Truly, I am in awe. As I rode the shuttle home from work tonight I reflected upon the events of the last two weeks in the world. I read this Thomas Friedman article that I printed for my ride home, and then pondered the state of the world.

And then all the stuff I've been reading about credit default swaps, and mortgage back securities hit me smack in the middle of my forehead. This is big. No, scratch that. This is HUGE. Yes, we all know it's major, but what struck me was the realization that the events of the past few weeks, as well as the current political events, will be written about in history texts for decades, perhaps centuries to come.

So I watch with great amazement, and wonderment...and fear. Never have we, in my lifetime, had so much to lose as I think we do now. This is a game changer, folks. The way our country responds to this crisis will shape future generations to come. I remain hopeful that another "great generation" can be borne from this disaster. With the right leadership (Barack Obama) and the right messaging (innovate, energy independence, regulation on greed), I believe the future for our children can be bright!

On a lighter note - we went up north for a family reunion on my ex-husband's side of the family. I posted some pictures on my facebook, but you can view them here if you don't have a facebook account.

Peace.