Friday, June 27, 2008

Welcome to summer....

I heard on NPR this morning that the mosquitoes are at a more "normal" level this year.

I have to ask, what could "normal" possibly mean? I mean, c'mon, here in Minnesota we are partly serious when we jokingly say our state bird is the mosquito! So, what could normal mean?

Perhaps it means that this year there aren't enough in a swarm to lift an octogenarian and carry him to his death.

Perhaps it means that I can actually dare to bare some flesh this summer - like maybe I'll uncover my pinky toe!

Perhaps it means I can wear regular perfume instead of Au 'du DEET.

But here's the real question - courtesy of my husband - How do they know what the numbers are? Does someone actually go out there and count them? Is that a job you'd love, Minnesota State Mosquito Counter?

And do they count them by standing bare naked in the woods and then coming back and counting the welts?

Maybe they set up a tent, open the doors for an hour, then zip them and sit in there and count them. Do they tag them with RFID tags like they do with the wolves so that they don't double count them? How do they know they've counted them accurately? I'm horribly concerned about the accuracy of their counting methods. If they're not using proper methods, they're cheery predictions of "normal" levels of mosquitoes this year could all be a load of CRAP! And you know what crap does - it attracts more mosquitoes!

Personally, I think it's all one big conspiracy. Since gas prices are astronomical right now, I think they'll say ANYTHING to get us to travel to the touristy, mosquitoey venues. Beware! This is all just another Bush/Cheney attempt to get us behind the wheels of our big SUV's and RV's in pursuit of an enjoyable summer trip. With that said - Everyone enjoy their holiday weekend. We're leaving tomorrow, in our SUV, on a 6.5 hour drive "up north" to MOSQUITO COUNTRY to enjoy the holiday.

1 comment:

Jon said...

They just like you 'cause you're so sweet!