Welcome to summer....

I heard on NPR this morning that the mosquitoes are at a more "normal" level this year.


I have to ask, what could "normal" possibly mean? I mean, c'mon, here in Minnesota we are partly serious when we jokingly say our state bird is the mosquito! So, what could normal mean?




Perhaps it means that this year there aren't enough in a swarm to lift an octogenarian and carry him to his death.

Perhaps it means that I can actually dare to bare some flesh this summer - like maybe I'll uncover my pinky toe!

Perhaps it means I can wear regular perfume instead of Au 'du DEET.

But here's the real question - courtesy of my husband - How do they know what the numbers are? Does someone actually go out there and count them? Is that a job you'd love, Minnesota State Mosquito Counter?



















And do they count them by standing bare naked in the woods and then coming back and counting the welts?

Maybe they set up a tent, open the doors for an hour, then zip them and sit in there and count them. Do they tag them with RFID tags like they do with the wolves so that they don't double count them? How do they know they've counted them accurately? I'm horribly concerned about the accuracy of their counting methods. If they're not using proper methods, they're cheery predictions of "normal" levels of mosquitoes this year could all be a load of CRAP! And you know what crap does - it attracts more mosquitoes!

Personally, I think it's all one big conspiracy. Since gas prices are astronomical right now, I think they'll say ANYTHING to get us to travel to the touristy, mosquitoey venues. Beware! This is all just another Bush/Cheney attempt to get us behind the wheels of our big SUV's and RV's in pursuit of an enjoyable summer trip. With that said - Everyone enjoy their holiday weekend. We're leaving tomorrow, in our SUV, on a 6.5 hour drive "up north" to MOSQUITO COUNTRY to enjoy the holiday.

I want to live on Mars

The other night I attended a public forum on Women in Leadership. It was sponsored by Augsburg College, where I earned my MBA. The two speakers were both from the Rochester community here. The first speaker was Jane Belau, an amazing woman in our community who has been in leadership positions from private business, to community, state, and national leadership positions. The other speaker, Shirley Weis, is the Chief Administrative Officer where I work, Mayo Clinic.


Overall, the evening was engaging and thought-provoking. I truly enjoyed listening to these two women and sharing in their experiences and wisdom. But [and there's always a "but" with me, isn't there?], something has been sticking with me and it's really bothering me. Shirley was talking about how she is the first woman to hold the position she now holds, and indeed I think she's the first to break into that upper echelon (C-level) of administrative management here. She talked about the differences in communication styles between men and women and referenced the book Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus which makes an attempt to explain our gender differences.

Then she turned to a small group of men in the audience and addressed them, bringing up men's style and how men can challenge each other, be spirited, disagree, discuss issues, etc. And then she said "How many of you go home at night after a meeting or interaction that can be charged and think to yourself - 'Oh, I hope Tom isn't mad at me for disagreeing with him' or 'I hope I didn't hurt John's feelings' - etc, etc...

Everyone laughed...everyone. Everyone understood implicitly and intuitively exactly what she was getting at: How silly that was! Silly! Men don't worry about that stuff! Silly. Men aren't concerned with others' feelings in that way - especially if they know they've acted respectfully through their dissent. Silly!

So, here's what stunned me. If we all understand this and know it to be true intuitively...why, oh why do we as women continue? Why can't we have those kinds of exchanges in our work lives?

I don't quite know the answer, but I can relay an uncomfortable experience I had in my job recently that highlights exactly what she was talking about. For whatever reason, I already tend towards the Mars Communication Method! I've always been a straightforward talker...I speak my mind...I will object when I believe it's called for. I will advocate for my team, I will challenge someone when I think their conclusions are faulty.

My spirituality and ethical substance have always guided me to do these things with the utmost respect possible. I always attempt to take great care to be respectful to people when I am disagreeing with them. I know I'm not always successful, especially in my personal life where it's easier to get sloppy, but in my professional life I think I have been pretty good at it. So, recently I was in a situation that called for me to challenge someone's preceptions. I believed, and still believe, that this person was making statements and decisions based on faulty logic and misperceptions of fact. The decision I was asking her to make, and indeed other dowline decisions, would be impacted. I needed to make my case. I did so in a manner that I thought was respectful. Oh, did I mention this person is senior to me in our organization? Did I also mention that she's a she?

To make a very long story short, the next day she basically scolded me like a mother would do, reading me a prepared list of statements, most of which revolved around the fact that she doesn't like to be challenged. She said she felt "attacked" - and that I had made her uncomfortable. I left the meeting feeling pretty low - as if I am now in a position to never disagree with her again for fear of making her feel attacked. Frankly, I think this is her issue. I have reviewed the exchange over and over in my mind and I don't know why she felt attacked other than I was disagreeing with her.

But, she did...and now I want to live on MARS!

I'm back...

Dear friends. Sorry for the long hiatus. I have had the "blogging blues" of late, but I think it's finally passed. Life can get so hectic and busy and it's easy to lose yourself in it.

I am lost no more. I am found.

There've been so many events since I last blogged, and I missed the opportunity to rant about some amazing political junk. Here's the shorthand of where I've been...

• Trip to chicago with my girlfriends (we affectionately call ourselves the "church ladies" because that's where we all met) to a politcal fundraiser. Guest speaker was Valerie Plame - amazing story - and special unnanounced guest was Michelle Obama
  
• Kaitlyn turned 16 on May 22nd. Got her license that day. Dinged up the car pulling out of the garage 3 days later. Over $1000 damage!!
  
• Kaitlyn held her "Koncert for Kenya" to fundraise for her trip to Kenya next month. It was basically a flop...but a very fun flop! We just barely covered our expenses...
  
• Kelsey and Kaitlyn left for Australia to visit their dad the day after the concert, June 8th. They come home today. We've had a wonderful two weeks being mom and dad (Nonna and Papa) to Kaden. He's so much fun. Oh to be 2 again!!!
  
• Through all of that, I continue to be sick with something. I'm on my third round of anti-biotics. I'm hoping to start feeling back to 100% soon!

That's it in a nutshell - just wanted to catch everyone up on my life. I'll be back to my semi-introspective blogging and political ranting soon! I hope I haven't lost you all, and that you'll come back with me on my journey!

I am a verb

We are taught that human beings are nouns. A person/place/thing. A living object. But a thing; not an action. As the days of my life transpire, and expire, I see in retrospect that we are verbs, not nouns at all. Life is a process of learning, changing, growing, acting. With all those "ing" words, how can we be a noun?

At no other time in my life have I understood this as deeply as I do today. I've had the great priviledge this week to play "mommie" to my beloved grandson whilst Kelsey is on a tour with her college choir. There's something so profound about young children. They have an ability far beyond their years to shape one's perspective on life. Looking at this face, you can't help but see only the good in humans, only the pure and innocent.


I have been so blessed by his presence in my life. He is a gift in every sense of the word. On October 26th, 2005, my then 16 year old daughter told me she was pregnant. What ensued was life changing indeed. Such a major life decision lay ahead and all I could do was guide her and provide support. As she pondered her options, termination/adoption/keep the baby, I pondered what life might be like under each cirmcustance. I made it clear that it had to be her choice. I have always supported abortion rights because I don't believe it's a government's place to be. But inside I was tormented that she may choose to terminate the pregnancy. However, I would support her through whatever choice she made. She choose abortion. She called Planned Parenthood in St. Paul, made an appointment, got the paperwork filled out. Through it all, I tried to be supportive and help her through it.

The day before we were going to take the drive to St. Paul she came to me and said she didn't think she could go through with it. We sat down and talked out her other options. She wanted to keep the baby. To this day, I wonder if she thought it might give her an "in" back with her ex-boyfriend? I don't know, but somewhere along her way to motherhood, my baby grew up. She stood at that fork in the road and made the right decision, and continues to make the right decisions. Kelsey is now enrolled in college, Kaden lives on campus with her in single parent dorms. She's become an amazing mother to Kaden, dare I say a better mother than I was as a new mom.

On May 9th, Kaden will turn 2. Tempus fugit. As I reflect on the last two years, I see this bright glow that he has brought to my life. Spiritually speaking, I believe that before we incarnate here in life, we create a plan for our lives with major life choices to help us learn lessons for spiritual growth. There's no doubt in my mind that this was one of those learning moments from which I have grown so much. And there's no doubt in my mind that Kelsey and I made the right decision. Her, for deciding to keep the baby. Me, for deciding to support her through it. And somewhere deep in my soul I feel a connection to him. I feel as though I've been waiting for him to come and be here with me. I feel as if this were meant to be and that I'm reunited with an old friend. Here's a couple of videos for you to enjoy.

So, although my body is old and broken, being a verb is the only way to enjoy my life with him and all of my precious family. Go be a verb with yours and lavish in every minute of it.

Karma

My new cyber-friend over at the Skin I'm In posted this cute little karma test. Many of you know that my spiritual beliefs aren't traditional, and I've been thinking a lot lately about blogging about it more. I've been reading many other bloggers and engaging in very interesting dialogue. It's fascinating, really.

Anyway, being that so many of my spiritual beliefs are based in buddhism, I thought I'd take the silly little Karma test. For many of the sections it was obvious what the "right" answer was, but I resisted the temptation to fill in what I wanted my answer to be. I was happy that for the most part I believe I am in balance with my beliefs.

However, I called it a silly little test because to someone who has studied this stuff a little bit it's also a little disappointing. I know it's just for fun and kicks, and that's all I tried to take away from it, but it does distort the concept of Karma somewhat. For one thing, there are four stages of enlightenment in buddhist karmic beliefs - none of them simply called "enlightenment." The concept of Karma is actually a complex matter that can't be boiled down to a simple online test. But - hey - it was just for kicks, right? So, I'm not going to get my undies in a bunch about it, and I'm just going to have fun knowing that some silly little internet test thinks I'm enlightended! HA!

TrueLifeKarma.com - Online Karma Test Click Here!

Julia, Your Karmic Alignment is: Enlightenment!

Score: 25 You have a lot of positive karma, and have good intentions in life. People would normally characterize you with being a kind, sensitive giving person. Remember that by creating positive karma seeds, they will soon blossom. If you work hard enough it is capable to gain enlightenment, and maintain inner peace.

Golf is backwards!

My 15yr old daughter joined the golf team. Golf, I tell you! I don't know SQUAT about golf! It's not exactly a spectator sport, at least not in my eyes.

Last night she had her first golf meet. In the cold, drizzly, rain. YUCK.

My theory is that it must have something to do with boys. It must give her an "in" with the boys? Beats me - but I can't understand the draw...

We picked her up from the meet and I asked who won? She had no idea. So, I stayed up late to watch the local sports on the news. Century High - 219, Lourdes - 212. Yeah, Century won. I was excited that I could tell her that in the morning.

As we drove to school I completely forgot to tell her. Pulling away from the curb I remembered, so I pulled out my phone and called her:

Kaitlyn: "What? You just dropped me off!"

Me: "I forgot to tell you that your team won last night. 219 to 212"

Kaitlyn: "Oh, AWESOME! Thanks Mom, thanks so much for calling! Thats so great!"

I hung up, and my husband who is a golfer said "Who had the 219?"

"Century! Didn't you hear me? I said they won!"

He looked at me with that look. You know the one. That look like you are the dumbest person on the world and he is hysterically laughing on the inside! I knew right away something was wrong. And then I rememembered it. Golf is backwards!

Me: ring, ring, ring "Kaitlyn!"

Kaitlyn: "Mom - you just called me, now what?"

Me: "I was wrong. I forgot that the higher the score in golf, the worse. I'm sorry honey - you guys lost last night"

Kaitlyn: "Oh My God MOM!"

Click. She hung up.

Teenagers!

A teacher of all people

Would he be proud of our society today? Would he be discouraged? Would he delight in the impact he had on our country, or lament his time was cut short?

He cried out that he had a glimpse of the "promiseland" - is this it? Are we close? Or do we sadly have miles and miles to go?

On this, the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr's assassination, I pause to honor him, his ideals, and his efforts on behalf of all mankind. I would like to believe if I had been old enough during his time here that I would have marched next to him as a white person. I would like to believe I would have assumed his cause as mine as the right and just thing to do.

But, would I have had the courage? Would you?